Lesson 4: What to Avoid

What behavior should be avoided in a meaningful conversation so we do not sacrifice the chance of having a successful outcome.

There are a number of habits and potential conversation pitfalls that are not recommended and should be avoided. It is advisable not to use communication that is meant to scare your clients and community members. Although fear messages are effective in the short term, they breed long-term resentment and are undermined by angry responses.

Don’t highlight that other people are not obeying rules – negative examples may lead to their people actually adopting them. People tend to act as others do - ‘if others are not doing it then why should I?’, ‘if others do this, so can I’.

Don’t persuade people that their viewpoints are wrong – efforts to debunk deeply rooted myths is not only ineffective but may actually reinforce them. What you should rather do is to highlight some new relevant circumstances which point to the right thing. in doing this, you allow your clients the opportunity to change their position without losing face.

Don’t repeat myths – people often memorize inaccurate information, so rather than debunking myths, create a different storyline. Present an easy and catchy fact that can replace a myth. By keeping this in mind you will be well trusted and people would like to listen and talk with you.

Here are the key points worth remembering:

  1. Never scare people through your communication. Fear messages breed long-term resentment
  2. Do not try to persuade people that their viewpoints are wrong! Instead highlight some new relevant circumstances
  3. Be careful with myths you hear. Never repeat them, instead replace it with relevant information
  4. Avoid using negative examples from others. This may lead to their adaption

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